in the name of the lard

whatever you do, WHATEVER, please promise me (me, the healthy me, that wants nothing but your own good, your best) that you never ever ever never Compare yourself to OTHERS. and their perception of good work.

who the fuck decides what's the law of 'good'. i thought to myself while watching a movie "who the fuck decided that that and this angle is the best to shoot from, that this and that composition is the ultimate one to use, that these and those colors gives the whole film a whole new level of greatness?" and so on. because, there are certain rules one can use, like the golden rectangle and whatever the means of composition you might like to choose. but hey, what the fuck about the general FEELING of it all? why apply rules to everything you do? i thought. why the fuck do we always feel the need to obey rules that doesn't even necessarily exist? it blows my mind in a bad way when it gets to me that noone really does decide what I may appreciate as good compositions, as good colors, as a good plot and as good actors. if you're a critic, you 'need' to obey certain rules. one cannot only go a long way by the general feeling you get from stuff because you're supposed to be a professional. but one cannot either TELL a person what to like because THAT SHOULD BE A CRIME!

rules scmules! FUCK THEM.

and don't, under any circumstances, COMPARE yourself to others. compare yourself to an otter, maybe, but not others, as in human beings, as in the species you've not chosen for yourself, but the species that you Happen to Be. whatever you and your work amount to is not important because obeying rules others than those of nature is like raping an unborn child.

i should probably come with a warning such as "pardon my foul language", but do your own math. what you find pleasing is your own matter and manner, do not try and rely on what certain and uncertain people may think and thus tell you to think too, but make your own mind up because that is your privelige as a person with a brain is still situated inside these bones that is the last thing to rot when you die.

ach, what the hell. i'm not sure if i come across with any other point than "BE YOURSELF BLAH BLAH NEVERMIND 'THE OTHERS' AND SO ON AND SO SOSOSOSOSOSO AAAAAHH FFFUCK!!!!", but what i mean is, how do one know that these rules do exist? is our perception of beaty and meaning so pretictable?

if so, i reckon they are, it's a bit sad, really. but we all know for certain, they are not. so, when no one knows what to really think of a piece of work, don't turn to common rules. they are a lie, as you will become one yourself if you don't hault and think hey, 'for a minute there'.

we're never as good as our references?
isn't that sad.
with that i of course mean, we're all addicts of what other people think. we think we're empty and uncreative so we fill up on what people that don't think like this about themselves think, do and provide.

well whatever. i have nothing new to offer you (myself, obviously), apart from the fact that i need to put some distance between ME and my opinions and those of the people that surround me.

it's a trap! don't


it's a crime! stop it.

it is abuse. discontinue.

i am no fan of too much ego, but to some extend, it can be more helpful than going without.


yes, i am blatantly obvious now, but...................... don't let them rape you.

because when people finally step out of this zone and do something completely NEW and original, slightly strange and you react either with "how fukcing great is this?! omg, i'm amazed!" if you respect the person who made this mindblowing piece of art, or you react with "bleh.." if you don't respect the individual behind such original ideas. why is this? it's very interesting. so, the sense of quality we're supposed to posess is really just fake, learnt and not very accurate..!