i used to strike gold!

i used to be so much more fun, pardon me for changing.

a fucking long time ago

i used to have a fucking normal life and fucking normal things to do.




fuck...





FUCK!

i'm tired of walking around like this

charm

i feel like moving in and out of this, like i still keep doing
and it seems like i'll continue down this path untill the end of all my time
it's a bit unfair
but i'm no hard worker

still, i gaze into the future like it's an empty screen with a high beep,
noise that penetrates my feelings of guilt


i sometimes want to move out of myself and grasp for a better grip,
but i'm still here
quiet on the suface, raging on the inside.

oh, behave.

oh, go shave.




fuck this, i'm better off apart from the darkness within

ambition
i know how it feels.
i know how much it hurts when it leaves you be.
i know how dependant we truly are on motivation

in order to thrive..


WÆÆÆH!!!!

common, uncommon. .certain, uncertain

eep

start again begin again
be constructive

14.71


scary shit


but by the time the first bombs fell
we were already bored

if i could have it back

sometimes i can't believe it
i'm moving passed the feeling


there are so many things i miss
and i spend my days feeling lethargic

mental and physical fatigue

malaise

i'm there, all over.
smitten, smooth.
fucking brilliant, down to earth.
slick and slim, fast and graceful

glorious times head for an apartment upstairs
they know what time it is
they feel the wibe from passing cars

when it all falls down and the horrid blackmail is returned to sender, then all is going to turn green

my head expands and the open wound that is the consciousness reveals itself as a fullblown storm
rise to the occation, have a relapse now and then
be there all the time, don't take the effort to look back
one day it'll come by itself
one day i'm all here and near
fear

of the same and the oposite
of it all and of whatever they say
whatever they do
people are not worth the bets you make

i'm ill i'm ill i'm ill
and lost
locked
into spaces that i cannot see all the normal things in
with normal eyes and normal reactions

fraction

i am but a fraction of myself

i knew so much, now i know so little
not a minute passes without me thinking about it

walk around it, don't you dare come across

we watch you
ready at all times, at all costs

to bring you down


spend it all, don't look back
i have no agenda, i only lack

i'm stressed out and fat
on the wrong track

all is dirty, all is not well

i'm going nowhere
and desperation has taken its toll


one day i'll look back at this madness and realise i've come a long way since then.
i want to get well.
TossItBack, i'm paralyzed..