there's something outside that sounds like a duck

but it's probably just my bad luck.
(at least it took my hunger away from me)



my brain has weakened, something drags me by the ears.

sweat it all out now and come clean with what you did.

chop off the toes and be no longer empty. let the air flow through and soar across the mourning of your mom.

health. what is that? my mind consumes me and i don't consume anything that leads lives on the outside of my pityful universe.

i think we're just overly obsessed with what others think. how they digest you becomes more important than how you view yourself.
hollow.
i always feel guilty because i know i don't do what's required. all that guilt. no wonder i'm heavy and eventyally become depressed.
no wonder at all.
at all costs, you should stick to 'the plan'. schedule all minutes and be aware at all costs to fill every second.

blew my mind. i'm aware of being aware. the conciousness has made me too aware and it has become all i ever manage to think of. please don't fall into the same trap, please don't take in what's outside of you, other peoples view on you, how they seemingly enjoy you/get disgusted by you, if you ever soak your soul in their opinions, you'll lose the most treasured part of you - yourself. conciosness is a bitch from time to time, don't let other people compliment your abilities, compliments are very confusing. you become self-concious and that equals to losing. at least on my behalf.


but my behalf is what it is - half. be.

i'm hungry.
but too sick of myself to eat.


i miss hiking, i miss biking. i miss everything i miss.

skipping heartbeats, leaps and overheads, fuck this shit this shit this this shit

i prefer to be told, not behold.


my head really hurts. it might be trying to detox itself from all my poisonous thoughts. tough job.

but yet, i seem to be missing everything at once, and nothing at all while missing everything.


i long for so much at the same time i cannot possibly decide what to set my mind for.

being human is the worst thing ever. the worst product evolution could ever come up with. we're pretty selfdestructive and i consider writing a book on pessimism.
the sad thing is - it's probably already been done
a thousand times.


everything's already done, why even bother. i spend my time looking through other peoples references. originality has probably ceased. i'm ill of doing jailtime.

alreaddy plotting

completely shattered, books out of nowhere and heartaches in the certainty you hide.


wallow.
you should, but you don't, i would, but i can't, you try and i fail, the places where all collide, is there a gap, is there a portal?

steal from us. i'm not sure i want it back. ever.
leave it for the seaguls, taste the acid and figure it all out. i'm norwegian and it clashes with your mirror.
tounges won't move fast enough, your seatbelt is too tight.
i'm a hatter and you're the beast, flee from thee and have a feast.

probably the right probably the wrong

when all smells like coffee you're on the track to devine serenity

people lose, bosses keep fighting.
they rule around and leave yours to offer
in utter silence, nothing will ever sound as loud
as racing thoughts

people have a mania, i'm the sane one
give me a sticker, who else should tell the masses?

plead and torture, gateways to inner beauty

fuck the life that does not exist. why look when your eyes are wide open.

look at people and give them the look

look back and look forward
nothing will ever turn out in the same perspective

wait a minute and it'll all change
constantly on the run from itself and its horrible shape

you think it's easy you take it all for certainty to be

i don't follow, the huge disaster is yet to come. places. trees. faces. degrees.

join them, combined for life. exhausted nostrils and play with bikes. run for the run, and hide from the vacuum.

space has arrived and won't ever leave

a bad grape will make a good rasin but neither one can make a promise.

I am the gap and you're the troll, we have it all in one bowl and stick to the roof. peal some sunshine off the leg and save it for hell. you'll se plenty but you'll forget even more.
there is no plenty, we have no perception - we just figure we want it, we just figure it's good. for what? for us. for gravity. for greed and for vanity.

stick your tounge into a mirror, watch as it disappears. slowly swollow your own grief and start over with new ideas.
fresh and always wanted. sick and always allowed.

we go by the name of the book insanity wrote

easily overviewed, don't take part.

we are all simple shapes and dimentions, combined for complexity.

words write themselves, too



hang in there, out there is way scary.

yes, the bloody knife used to have a name, but it carved it into the bone of the oldest landfill at the bottom of it all

sorrow.


has it.
i guess i've sort of sort of lost myself. my very being has come to an end, and the spirit has left. the leaf that hits the ground. i am whatever the neccessity might seem to be.

shapes and such, blood and paralyzed equipment. today has it, i'm all over scratching the bald chicken on to the deep voice of a pile of wood.

if it could talk, it would tell you to SGNjGS njdfs d j njdfk fj ea8798d8 jdif()/#)¤(jfdmskl.

why listen. i'm not able to process. the stuff has to be processed before i'm able to consume it.
build a storage, place me inside. provide me with a bigger sense of need.

water hasit, people has it. towards the end of probability. it has the meaning, it has the craving.
up on the hill, down on the water. spend your days counting every last cell of your being.

what does it tell you, is it written anywhere? why search for something that might not even exist.

the eyelid of humanity.

carve a whole heart out of your television. the matter has the same opinion, the matter has all the right meanings.

please take a turn for the worse, can't you just shut up and nod your head to the beat of my punching.
long lost fishingrod.

i want to make something new. i'm done playing at this level. i need to level up a notch or plenty. create? create. be creative. create something, anything. just make it yours, just make it count. it's all about math. it's all about human nature, it's all about what's going on in other peoples mind. you must not provoke negative thoughts in them, you must do whatever you can to keep your reputation clean and fucking brilliant. the impression has to be right, you have to fight for yourself. push your standards on others as they push theirs onto you. whose are they, anyway? whose standards do you really follow? are they already processed or do they originally belong to you? and, does it really matter..


no. no  no no no.

lukewarm health, passive minds.

fear the fear and help the helpless.
be brave but not too brave.
have a bright mind and a happy face.

don't act too fast, but act in time.
don't place a name upon something that isn't yours.

don't call people in the middle of the night and don't get frustrated when they do.

balance out the meaning of your life with others.
you stretch for a mile and feel the footsteps of everyone above you, walking passed, leaving impressions.

saturated fats and saturated minds. saturated people have their meal in the morning, have their go and end up infront of the television.

the ultimate goal.

hilarious. i laugh all the way and bliss hits me like a relapse.

dead bodies have lots of potential.

when the foot of the mountain tries to get on top of itself

i've seen so many bands this year i'm really confused.
no way to bring a summary. purrhaps i could sum up WHO before it's too late. i forget.

Tame Impala
Foals
Pj Harvey
Brigth Eyes
Mastodon
Portishead
M.I.A.
Tallest man on earth (some songs, at least)
Fucking Kaizers Orkselksrmraktarr.aar
TV on the Radio
Arctic monkeys (boring)
The Strokes (i almost killed myself)
Lykke Li (amazing. i cried)
I was a King
Tremor ( a bit)
THE WALKMEN!<3
Gold panda
Janelle Monae
 Kings of..............le............o .......... . .            ................... fuck, i died. fucked up my hand. it still hurts. fucking hell.

that's it for roskilde.

Træna:

Dungen
Manu Chao
Honningbarna
Anna Jarvinen
Ida Maria
Dan Fagerquist
Jenny Hval
Gabriel
Valkyrien Allstars


Bukta
Cold Mailman
Ida Maria
GRINDERMAN
Mudhoney
Kvelertak (danced like crazy, the guards took me out of the moshpit..)
Biffy Clyro
Kyuss Lives
Kråkesølv
Steinar
Kitchie Kitchie Ki Me O

Parken:
Motorpsycho
Sepultura
Lissie
Håkan Hellstrøm
Robyn
Ida Maria
Inculcado
Surfers Lingo
Deathcrush
Ed Kowalzyk
Iggy Pop


Døgnvill
Robyn
ach i just want to forget this festival ever happened
Kaizers
John Fogerty
Sirkus eliassen
admiral p
Pendulum
Kelis (AWFUL!!!)
a bit of Eurpoe

during the winter i also went to alot of concerts frome time to time. awesome.
i sure miss that..

Lukestar
Dunderhonning
Kvelertak
Kråkesølv
Ihab
Hopalong knut
Valentourettes
Sivert Høyem
Ane Brun
Katzenjammer
Bugge Wesseltoft
Jarle Bernhoft
Sondre Lerche
Misvær Skaforening
Bo Kaspers Orkestra
dilillis
Egil Olsen
Æ og Dem
Sirkus Eliassen

BHCF#14

Lama
Casa Murilo
Fjorden Baby!
Oslo Ess (MOSHPIT BABY, i completly destroyed my bodily health, but my mind praised me)
Out There
Quiritatio
Kråkesølv
Gabriel

..and some more but i can't fucking remember right now. all is hectic at that festival.



i can't even recall them all. but i do know i've seen many bands more than once. Kråkesølv, for instance. FIVE times this year. which means i've been to alot more concerts than a simple naming will count for. djisis.

at this point i count at least 80. 

well. that's alot of beer. could you imagine.

i should be the happiest person alive. 

i guess i am! 

does the need for communication cease when facebook has a solid archive of the people you'd like to catch up with?

i used to be a depressed geek

now i'm only depressed.


hourray.

depression is complaining about things you never get done and yet never seem to seek out the energy to do something about it anyways. it's a circle, it's a spiral, it's ever so easy to slip into and fucking impossible to snap out of. i might even think, in the darkest of moods, that there is no reason to put on a brave smile. there's no use, the lie i project has no value.

i have no value.

i've sunk into the abyss of a private hell
i'm burning up from the inside, and when i'm finally cremated the sorrow i once carried alone appears for the world to see.
gaze upon my misery, it taught me nothing but the ability to rob even the brightest days of all meaning.
even the brightest moments rarely let light slip into the back of my mind, where things accumulate and brews into something i can extract nutrients from.

no.

it's dark and nothing grows.


provide me with beer, please, and i'm yours.