it has gone too far

since spotify is 'unable to draw funds' from my bankaccount (49 kr)
i'm all out, now

i'm all out of everything
life
lust
happiness
bliss
fiss
diss
giss

all out

i can see your lips move
i can sense a figure of your speech

but i'm alone, still
my head will not include anything
that goes beyond its physical limits

thinking about picking berries
lost in the translation of restlessness

herring

i need to relax
i need to buy cds

but i have no money

i have no work
i'm all out

inculcado

such talented music
thank you
thank you
t h a n k  y o u .

i'd give alot to have you back
to see you again
and again
and again

and again

if i could have it back


carrying a book with me
at all times
at all costs

i'm dead and fat
fat on the inside and outside
dead from the neck and up
caffeine can't touch me


i have touched iggy pop, btw
his skin was like leather

deerest deer

paintskills

i has them

everything looks so long ago

i miss this
i miss feeling hungry
and i miss feeling the bliss

the inspiration

i run around, i run into lack
or luck

i offer help i offer assistance, i offer myself and i offer them nothing
i take it all back

it's broke
i'm broke


bankrupt
and in need of nothing

i want to disappear

slowly, swallowing it all whole while breathing through the nose

swollen and hurt
people see me for trees

a leaf that leaves

i drink cancer
and cancer drains me
i'm my own old and disrupted disease

people tell me what i should do
they tell me their sollutions
they advice me to do this and that
i'm all ears
and then i chop them off

you should keep you mouth closed

if you had a door on it, i would slam it shut

i'm not angry, i'm tired

sleeping on the couch and drinking pink water makes you weary and disoriented

and it sure makes you forget how to remember

banananananana.

feirce

i spend the days
counting
them
counting how many
i'll manage
without alcohol

it's the most exciting part of the day
summing it up
and conclude with
"no.. no beers.. no whine, today"
and then move on with a halfrisen smile on my face

am i depressed?
i know i am.

but it curbs itself when

..


well.

goodbye all men, i'm left alone
and it feels so good

having the housekeeper sleep over, besides.

i'm porbably late
but
the lateness aside

Tune-Yards is awesome

Merrill Garbus is such a genious
i'm jealous
no i'm not
but i am
no i'm not
but i am
no i'm not
but i am
no i'm not
but i am


..


idon'tevenknowanymore


Merrill Garbus is the closest thing i could ever get to RnB and so on. to gangsta-music, or whatever.
she takes me to that place.

well anyroad, this is just me trying to remember something.

please keep moving, yo. i'm still boring as fuck.

i was so drunk

the roskilde festival.. i have no proper words for it. it is it's own thing, it is it's own world and it has so much to give you and you should embrace the fact that it loves you.
it goes so many miles for you. it has everything lined up, it is the one who holds the towel for you when you go out of the shower, it is the coffee in the morning, it is the water when you're thirsty and it is heaven on earth for drunk people.

i have no words, i have no perception, i have no other feeling than a total mindfuck, i have no impression other than eternal bliss, i have no feeling apart from eternal internal sunshine.

thank you for making me so happy.
it comes back to me now.


and. i was so drunk.


i'm thinking about smoke now.


one of the biggest impressions was left by Lykke Li, actually.
the mood.
we waited in line after dancing/running like the crazypeople we are to The Strokes. i laughed all the time and we probably looked drugged to shreds, but no. only alcohol.
the line was wet. water all over the place. a fence. we sat there. the light was magic. we talked. discussed so much unnecessary shit for ages and drank wine. this was only random. why we decided to wait in front of the line for her i never really knew. it was a feeling i just couldn't shake. i've not listened to her that much, but i have kept up with a lot of her history since 2007. she made a huge impression on me back then. and, this was our opportunity to stand way in front. to test our running capacity. even tho we were drunk and tired.
i just had to do this. i just had to fit in as a lykke li fan. i just had to watch her.
a somewhat overwhelming feeling, i guess my intuition took me there. drunk.
we ran up to the front aisle, stood there. clung to the fence and waited patiently for the glorious beaty that she is. she freaked me out so much that i had to wear sunglasses in order to hide my tears.

such an intense experience.

so many memories and so many new impressions. so many new and old places at the same time, so much emotion and so much passion.

i never knew what i went to, but it blew me away.

i am grateful.


Youth Novels is a brilliant album.

it's all just the same

and this time i feel like dancing

i managed to watch an entire movie yesternight. i should have been asleep, but instead i made coffee and saw a movie called Splice. pretty slick stuff, a mindfuck. (mindfuck is my favorite word nowadays)

i seek stuff like that. mindfucks.

so apart from being totally random and not very interesting i have nothing to report. i'm alive, yes.

and very tired.

have not been able to eat properly and the last time i stepped onto a bathroomscale i got pretty shocked.

hungry, but i can't bother to eat. what is this.

my repetition is this