manipulate my blood

it changes everything

always push your luck

windows mute reality

how can i recognise passion when i have a total of two, maximum three, emotions during the course of a year

i'm left clueless, so i've just sourced out the least confusing road to go down

music taste of nothing anymore

i hardly allow myself to feel anything 

i THINK i want to do stuff

and do said stuff on said basis

i can claim i look forward to something

but what happens in reality is me thinking that, for a brief moment, i'd like to do something else than just sit here, it might be good for me, 'maybe that'll be my turnaround', maybe something will save me from this willingly constructed misery that i have built a fort out of

steep hills and a million bills

pay in blood and get on with it

life is blood, blood is life, you pay whatever the cost since it's unheard of to refuse

confuse

conform

oxymoronic synonyme 

this road, this gravel, this ditch and this fence, this net and those skinless ducks

choke on a pint of liquid books

watch your dreams fade as you close your eyes

only to realise

people can be harder than fucking diamonds

never change never adapt never adopt never put something in your ear

if i could strip down to my skeleton

have your way with its wit

la la la

my bones 

will roam the earth

    thanks. you can all just fuck off now.

inlands and islands

it's been a long time since

and i seem to have lost a lot of value

this is why i drink

frustration
neurosis
incompetence


my lungs hurt
my spine has a new twist
my eyes no longer see the beautiful landscape of home

stuck in the unknown
down there
if only i were alone

hazy malaise, lazy gaze

in awe of what struck,
turning inside out,
just for your luck

choking on residue
the gmo has me now
see how we all glow
in the darkness within

golden heaps of simple pleasures
starve me from perfection


the days you have no one to call

might it be

that extraverts have a harder time getting out of the house after spending a huge amount of time in there since they tend to get their most constructive energy from the outside world, whilst introverts actually have a much easier time getting out of the house since they're already energised from being inside

who knows.


i'm cold and stuck

healthy image

and wealthy people

i'm both under and over the influence

the argue of who's got the longest neck

my eyes are in a jar

toccata

the ongoing battle between me and my depression
oh, the discussions we've had

decoded normal happy life,
a slice of bread every now and then

crippling sensations
and dried out soup
now is not the time

time time time
to prepare
for that
time
when you
think
you'll eventually

   change for the better

yet

patience. waiting. that game. that known universe.

freedom is something you give yourself

glue and pastry and glue again

'i enjoy my rich social-life lol.'

we're as beautiful as egypt

left to simmer in the heat


pass me by,
bypass

fast, quick, the eternity is here

hear

the gates have been resealed
yet
  no flood in sight