sanctimonious (two-faced monsters)

ever felt like an alien?
it might be due to the fact that you are one.


_
false advertising
and all the other means of hiding the madness
we all know you don't always get what you bargain for
yet we still fail to comprehend the issues at hand
being a wordsmith and an artist of sorts can get you many an important role, sale and goods
porportions that no longer feels real in our head, as we buy whatever crap presented in a perfectly convincing manner
i'm good at selling an ability that's not often a part of me anymore
its shadows still lurk within, and i sometimes communicate on autopilot
as a salesperson
selling myself
with false advertising
that if you chose to go further
it'll only get better
more satisfaction

and when people don't buy my crap anymore, i'm left with a ton of explanation problems
which in turn, drains the living daylight out of me

you cannot possibly serve anyone well by feeding them lies
yet, we still engage in such behaviour
and with great enthusiasm as well

stuck in a loop of trying to get behind the scenes, i rarely believe in any story told, that holds great promise, but little evidence of being factual
to recognise a pattern within yourself that manifest itself in the outer world as you observe tendencies, is actually quite scary, strangely familial, distressing and comfortable at the same time

being sick of and annoyed with it won't help, but being aware somehow makes it an easier concept to grasp
solving this might depend on your ability to decrease a certain level of perfectionism, change habits and your need for some things to feel comforting

fully dysfunctional lies or completely honest disease

this is hard.
how come?
problems of stigma and fear of the unknown. a nature humans prefer in order to feel the illusion of safety.

i really want to deal with this, but i still sell myself as a healthy person. it's just easier that way. my laziness demands instant simplification, and due to it being, yes, lazy, it does not see how false advertising migth cause damage in the future
untill i suddenly have a lot of explaining to do.