i used to be a depressed geek

now i'm only depressed.


hourray.

depression is complaining about things you never get done and yet never seem to seek out the energy to do something about it anyways. it's a circle, it's a spiral, it's ever so easy to slip into and fucking impossible to snap out of. i might even think, in the darkest of moods, that there is no reason to put on a brave smile. there's no use, the lie i project has no value.

i have no value.

i've sunk into the abyss of a private hell
i'm burning up from the inside, and when i'm finally cremated the sorrow i once carried alone appears for the world to see.
gaze upon my misery, it taught me nothing but the ability to rob even the brightest days of all meaning.
even the brightest moments rarely let light slip into the back of my mind, where things accumulate and brews into something i can extract nutrients from.

no.

it's dark and nothing grows.


provide me with beer, please, and i'm yours.