there's something outside that sounds like a duck

but it's probably just my bad luck.
(at least it took my hunger away from me)



my brain has weakened, something drags me by the ears.

sweat it all out now and come clean with what you did.

chop off the toes and be no longer empty. let the air flow through and soar across the mourning of your mom.

health. what is that? my mind consumes me and i don't consume anything that leads lives on the outside of my pityful universe.

i think we're just overly obsessed with what others think. how they digest you becomes more important than how you view yourself.
hollow.
i always feel guilty because i know i don't do what's required. all that guilt. no wonder i'm heavy and eventyally become depressed.
no wonder at all.
at all costs, you should stick to 'the plan'. schedule all minutes and be aware at all costs to fill every second.

blew my mind. i'm aware of being aware. the conciousness has made me too aware and it has become all i ever manage to think of. please don't fall into the same trap, please don't take in what's outside of you, other peoples view on you, how they seemingly enjoy you/get disgusted by you, if you ever soak your soul in their opinions, you'll lose the most treasured part of you - yourself. conciosness is a bitch from time to time, don't let other people compliment your abilities, compliments are very confusing. you become self-concious and that equals to losing. at least on my behalf.


but my behalf is what it is - half. be.

i'm hungry.
but too sick of myself to eat.


i miss hiking, i miss biking. i miss everything i miss.

skipping heartbeats, leaps and overheads, fuck this shit this shit this this shit

i prefer to be told, not behold.


my head really hurts. it might be trying to detox itself from all my poisonous thoughts. tough job.

but yet, i seem to be missing everything at once, and nothing at all while missing everything.


i long for so much at the same time i cannot possibly decide what to set my mind for.

being human is the worst thing ever. the worst product evolution could ever come up with. we're pretty selfdestructive and i consider writing a book on pessimism.
the sad thing is - it's probably already been done
a thousand times.


everything's already done, why even bother. i spend my time looking through other peoples references. originality has probably ceased. i'm ill of doing jailtime.