headline of today: why life is interesting in its contrasts and reflections

.
when you do too much of the things you love, you suddenly hate them.
if you do too little, you feel like a failure. or you just feel tricked by society, who doesn't understand you.
or something whatever.

no it's not easy being human. neither is it easy to be humane.
nor is it easy to breathe when you know you're inhaling tons of different chemicals that causes you cancer somewhere down the road of days to come.
yes. life is in itself very complex and difficult,
but mainly if and when you overthink it.

i overthink alot.
and drop to conclusions like "... i need to think much more simple, simply"

goddamn.

i have alot of music to delete on my mp3player. like band of horses and some other bands i don't want to mention because i'm so embarrassed.

when people stop me and ask if i'm sick and tired, i've been sick and tired for a long time.
it happened. again. at work. today. yes. i almost blew into a million sharp pieces.
piercing through everything and everyone. rage.
pure rage.
but whatever. i can go for miles to improve my situation.
it just hurts so much that i have to be bossy and take serious action about myself and my best interests there.
i don't know why.. but it really really hurts.
seriously.

..