visions

i'm trying
and now i get the feedback

no i don't. it's all a wild getup that makes no senes what so ever.

my visions.
for my life.

at the time they're;
wake up
get to the fucking buss
stay the whole day at work
and then (...sJNLGAGmkdMKLFMfdkmkfldaklmKLFMKLADdfglkkgfskmgfsk.---.... BLURR ERRRRR!!!)


so it's hard to stay focused when you've nothing to really focus on

i can visualise a clock. and it tells me what time the bus should arrive and when i should be there. that's it.
i have wishes, but no visions.

wishes for my photography, my guitarplaying, my drawing, my holidays and biking, festivals and concerts, excercise and motion happiness, traveling and graveling, buy a new computer, listen to music while NOT sitting in front of it, create alot of stuff with my hands, get on with my life, my everyday, fill it to the max. live it.

wishes. stuff your day. stay happy and focused. complete tasks/hobbies. come on! fucking hell.

i'm at a place in life where i obviously need to start making lists.
i should do so today. it's saturday. i have nothing but a messy image of it. vague.
i have only a spesific time for the bus to arrive.
but. beyond that.
drink or not drink alcohol?
invite people or stay at home alone in fron of the pc?
clean the house or make more mess?

of myself


rid of me.

rid of my bad breath. focus, damnit.

take a stand. see it through. make a decision. even if it is a bad one. see it through. come on, damnit.


i love being vague cause it keeps me off guard. i hate people and their awful opinions about stuff that's close to my heart.
if i weren't this numb, i'd break down shivering a long time ago.

numb

you know what i mean


numb visions.