Sweetums

Fucking Hell these photos came out as utter crap. i'm so sorry ppl!

little children playing

i think this band is very nice. nice indeed. very.

someone sculpt me

i am overconcious

someone sculpt me

i have no opinions that i'm sure of anymore

being brave takes courage. being weak takes a great mind. being restless requieres a good amount of work and taking a deep breath makes your head explode

coffeetime and early mornings requirers a good night of sleep

today i am

a bit tired

today i have

only one day left

before the weekend is mine to own

to rule

to use

and to tresure

without pressure

it is nice to have these feelings back, even tho the lack of time to think in my freetime will make me rather furious in the longer run.

work habits

habits that work

which one's the better?

damn, i miss fishing

Major Parkinson

gave out a cool album last year
'songs from a solitary home'
the coverart is amazing, i recognize it from a poster i saw in bergen



musicwise it's a gentle blend of pop and prog rock



some say the debut album is the better one
we'll se about that. i think so too, this far.
it's cool music, pretty much RIGHT up my alley
i like chaotic genreblending, high-energy crazy music.



Dance With the Cookieman is a pretty out-there tune.
with strings, piano, versatile voice, fullbodied sound and some synthing. the guitar is how i like it; a mix between palm-muting and that funnysounding picking of the chords.
the experimental parts are muchmuch fun!
Downtown Boogie is a popsounding-party
Heart of Hickory is well the most popular tune from their recent album. i can see why, it's pretty slick. a mix between the cheerful psychopath and the dancing gypsy.

..and so on

EEASILY!!

if you haven't listened to this album, you should. EERIE! i've yet to buy it myself, tho. it's been way too expensive for me lately, you know, to buy cds. but the money's acomin

I FUCKING LOVE the liars___________________!

"""Andrew: THE FIRST TRACK ON THE ALBUM WAS A DREAM. I DESCRIBE IT PRETTY LITERALLY IN THE SONG, BUT BASICALLY IT FELT LIKE SOMEONE CLOSE TO ME WAS DYING, AND I WAS INCAPABLE OF DOING ANYTHING TO HELP HIM OR HER. I WOKE WITH A HORRIBLE SENSE OF GUILT AND SOMEHOW FELT LIKE I WAS BEING REMINDED THAT I NEED TO BECOME MORE ENGAGED WITH MY SURROUNDINGS AND THE PEOPLE IN IT..."""" - related to the Link

they make my tuseday

omg

how could i ever forget you

eerie, chill, alarming, noisy, breathtaking, awesome, dancable, hardcore and punky at times; but most of all; FUCKING AWESOME.

i'm even tempted to name my kid Angus. close to almost whatever gender.

now you know what i want to keep me warm at winter. a t-shirt.

camerashake

insideoutside






yes. my flash is what lits this thingy.

sorry for that past and totally chaotic POST under this one

no i'm not depressed
just angry

and i want to make it a thing of the past

i must learn how to love myself

bliss

i need to stop all the thinking
it ruins me

it makes me me
but it's destructive

"there are better things
to talk about
be constructive"

- from one of my alltime favorite songs

we are the dollars and cents

bright and bubbly

friend

or enemy

whatever the likes

i would absolutely NOT wish this travesty upon them;

..moving back home

i'm having troubles with my mom. i think she's with the mafia.
or the nazis.
i forget.
but the main problem is the CONSTANT currents of adrenaline and other fear/angerendhancing hormones when she's near by (remenicing about stomping feet at tremendous speeds).
they always want something out of you, don't they?
they always judge you for whatever you decide to do, don't they?
they always push you in a direction you never seem to understand, don't they?
they always boss you around, shouting like crazy if somethings out of order and gives you the hives by doing so, don't they?

they always seem like such good people, but you always know better

if there's some cause i've faught for a long time, it's gotta be irrationality.
that's my main prior. LURK IT OUT, DAMNIT WILL YOU PLEASE COME ON! FUCKING HELL.
problem is. my mother's full of that shit. she can't seem to ever leave me alone.

as a teenager i had a much better relationship to her than i do now.
what has that cause?
well. i'm restless. i'm choking. i'm living far from my work. i've moved BACK HOME (???) a couple of times and i seem to be stuck in a routine of doing things i utterly hate.
this feeling came to me very strong yesternight.
i didn't deal with it.
i just sat it out, watchin telly with my dad. thinking about wasted hours
thinking about "we used to wait"
wanting to burst into tears, but realising that's irrational.

simply grab a thighter hold onto the remote-control
it makes perfect sense, in a nonsensible way
it's intoxicating
you forget all your troubles
push them aside
you become an expert in certain fields
such as denying the truth that suddenly occured to you

in stead of living your own life
you're waisting yours
by sitting in the same fucking chair
as always
watching other peoples lives
and how they chose to fill them
how they chase their dreams
what professions they have
what exites them
watching watching watching
and thinking thinking thinking

i could have had it so much better



i'm knee-deep in this shit
and it's terror

but
it's a given fact
we humans always focus on the negative perspective on things

but this time around
i don't know which eyes i'm looking through

to day

well. i had the day off.

of course the music will live if the CD-format dies, but it'll be a tragic day anyways.

i'm guessing spotify has ruined my brain alittle alot, due to it being so darn convenient.

that's a problem for me. ever how much i/we all love convenience, it comes at a fucking price.

something has to suffer from it; and this time it's the way i enjoy music that has compromised with spotify and it's effect on my already ruined concentration.

even writing these words in order to make them seem coherent is bloody hard.

see? there it all goes

there it all blows

into a freakish shape of the horror you tend to look away from

the case of rotten fruit

and damaged goods

..

that is all

i btw

still like colors

thinking that maybe

MY WATER TASTES REALLY GREAT!

WHY??

I ADDED powdered GUARANA seeds TO IT!!

OMG I FEEL ENERGIZED

good thing i'm going to work soon, then.

yeees.. it sure is.

a good thing.

HEE HEE HEE HEE HEEEEEEEEH

my mind is overflowing
with both hell's kitchen and
that other kitchen

ktichens in general
that is

this is the bliss

i'm in my own neighborhood and

that bloody thing is rapping on my windowsill

colors
and music
i love
again
i can sense and feel, i have that glory i have that feeling
it comes around at the end of a period
it sets it all straight
it blows me away
it leaves the remains
i'm not at all scattered and lost
i'm alive
the breath reaches its full potential
the colors brings me awe
the music is again all of the right reasons
all is reason
all makes sense all is fine
all is deep and all is perfect

most important
all is okay


i'm getting better. and i know i'll lose this feeling once i step my foot half an inch into that building again. but it doesn't matter. because i'll lose it again nomatter what i do or where i go
my biggest mission here in life is to figure out a way to make The Big It last.

at last

the kernel

i found these. searching through the archives of this craptop.
i think i need to just cave in and go buy meself a personal computer.
a one with a better screen than this has. my pics come out as utter crap so i never really know anything about them, just taking wild guesses.

fundaMentally

fully
fucked




i'm in such a mellow mood right now
not sure why
it might be due to hearing my name said over phone by a 23 months old gal, calling me "datte bie". as in tante sofie.

phones are indeed sometimes a pretty great invention

happy newsyear

i've celebrated by not discountinuing the oversleeping
i drank a few glasses of whine
i resisted the urge to kick something in the face
i saw pulp fiction when i got back home
and didn't feel a thing

to sum up 2010,
i have much to learn
i have to really speed up in 2011 to catch up on all the lost knowledge of 2010

it was in many ways a very selfish year, where the ego got all the last words
being out of work puts you in a real partymode

but life itself did not become less hard work
you lose alot when unemployed
even tho it is quite interesting from time to time;
if you want to walk in the forest
you do it
if you want to bike across the country
you do it
if you want to have fish for dinner that was caught by your filthy arms
you do it
NOW!

if you want to move to bergen
you obviously do it

but all this 'selfishness' (freedom) comes with many a cost

loss of self-esteem being among them


but whatever. this is in the past. or at least that's what the calendar tells me
it was a very good year
it was a very scary year
it was an average year
it was a refurnished year
it was an old and forgotten time of the year
it was a good year for bad mistakes
it was a good year for becoming a buddhist
it was a bad year for ambition and right choices for the future
it was a year that leaves me thinking i could have so much more
it was a year where evangelic moments reached a peak - and then plummeted
it was a year for dreams to occur, but not stay for very long
it was a piece in the jigsaw that's soon to unfold itself

it was a year for admitting ones true problems
because in fact
none of us function properly in the long run
and i sure don't see a reason for us to do so
it is boring

and boring drives me mad
being scared drives me into insanity
but leisure is not the answer

i'm not retired
i'm just not carved out right
it might be blamed on the fact that my mother smoked when she walked the earth pregnant with me
and hit a moose while driving that made a total wreck of the car and the moose itself

no i'm sure that's not it

i think happiness is a fictional carachter
that only comes around if you let it

happiness is hard work
happiness is achieving
happiness is putting your heart and soul into something
happiness is not falling through the ice
happiness is running
happiness is modest and nice
happiness is brutal and leaves you frozen stiff to the memory it left