i wonder if germs and alcoholics are more symbiotic

i live a life of great contrasts.
sometimes i wish they'd just melt together as if they were colors. creating a new one that has its own trusted definition.

tired of falling asleep with food in my teeth. that's not very inspirational. nor rational.

my cave where the most exercise i get is when having to walk across the room to grind coffee and then walk back to the sink again..

or when i turn my torso to fetch a beer from the fridge that's 30 cm from the sofa.

or when i suddenly realise whilst a long summer slowly becomes autum that i have fucking roses in my garden. that really says it all.

a life of great contrasts. when outside of here, i act normal and happy to the extend where i've stopped trying to recognise myself and simply accept this new person that has appeared.

no that's not true. i'm pretty much the same shitfaced person i'll ever be. the only thing that varies is people asking what drug am i on now, then.