win myself a darwin award

personal hygiene
total neglect
haven't used conditioner in months
haven't used any sort of bodylotion for years on end
don't go to hairdressers anymore
i own virtually no make-up, the mascara i have is, you guessed it, not mine. i rescued it out of the hands of someone about to throw it away years ago and use it once a month, maximum
use other peoples clothes, find them, buy used ones, only buy merch to support bands
whatever comes my way, i usually take
pick stuff out of and up from the ground
don't have any money
keep my head cool enough to take advantage of situations
scavange, opoturnism, whatever the likes, juices flowing, no inner turmoil here

human seagul

and this is just the way things have become

this is what happens when i let everything fall in a way that's apparantly natural to me

my house is a mess,
my head none the less

nothing seems real enough for me to bother changing, anyways

stuck in a pattern or just truly free

am i confused or is it my flawed perception that leads me to such a simple suspicion

you're nothing but trapped in an endless cycle of substances
to regain consciousness, but whos is it anyways


i'm alive and well and utterly confused
to the extend of not even recognising the simple shape of a bottle

knee deep in soil and blood,
you tossed it towards the sky
an orbit with a leak

our eyes work fine in great landscapes, and spot patterns to identify with
the length and width of it all



drowning out of fear in a pool of germs similar to those who live within us

shortlived nuances

 the ever apparent parentheses

sometimes greed is the only thing that keeps me sane

as my lust for self-destruction

it's a weird concoction

to slit your own troat when you're looking the other way

numb in the forhead, bleeding from your spine

when you can no longer communicate, everything is smothered in deafening beeps from your internal censorship

what is a bad day

what is inspiration

stop gnawing away on your own reasoning

trust is a liability

nothing in nature is cowered in dressing

kudos to you for thinking new

present the force through a horse

and trust that bliss is your friend

an assertive colleague

flood me with substances

stop critical thinking

continue being vague

good luck in life as you try on a new suit

pale faces, no idomatic responses

a lump in the brain

what is control, what is ability

what is life

but research for your own obituary

silent and dizzy

don't diss me

dismiss the disease

decrease and cease

drag the iron out of irony

put your hemoglobin to the test
don't rest

dehydrated, collapse in the forest

time to leave
fall is here


rot beneath a layer of leaves




i'm cold and neglected
the inner demons roam again

nothing left for the poor
but an apology

finish your crisps now

a day of simple sensory sensations
clean clothes, a shower, fresh air

and your head in a beehive

motionless inner turmoil
young blood, eternal wrath

amputate memories
always so inadequate

drive and cry,
the need for wipers on the inside